people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Randomize
