Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
