you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
