Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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