Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
