I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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