your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
