i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
