I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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