Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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