And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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