We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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