If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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