My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
