On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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