check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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