Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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