I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
North Korea, Best Korea!
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
