i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
