I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
