I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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