he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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