you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
She's not a foreskin expert like you
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
