Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
