You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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