i think i have two assholes
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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