I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
