I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize