I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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