I showed him my bush... on skype.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
