You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
