he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize