It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
