We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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