He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I understand Curling. That high.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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