I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
