my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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