Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize