everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
