why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
