I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
He told me they were just razor bumps!
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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