"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize
