Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
