do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
pray to the hookup gods
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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