It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
