You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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