It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
