She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
