And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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