i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
God, you're like boner-b-gone
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
