Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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