I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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