so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
