i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
