Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
