hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I didn't notice because vodka
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
