all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
