Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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