I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
