she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
