My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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