You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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