saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
