girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
