question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I need water and some morals
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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