I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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