just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
